One of the things I absolutely hated about AP English last year was the graded discussions. Just seeing that one was planned on the calendar filled me with a dread so unimaginable it can only be compared to what Harriet Jacobs experienced when she was locked in a closet for seven years. This is a hyperbole, I will admit, but the mere fact that I came up with this hyperbole speaks to how much I hated graded discussions. When the day came, I literally began to experience physical ailments. Sitting in that room, knowing that every second I was not talking my grade was lowering, my heart began to race, my hands would sweat, I would feel nauseous, and just overall I wanted to throw myself out one of the conveniently large windows.
This year, every single day is a graded discussion. I still have yet to decide whether I like this system better than the one employed last year. On one hand, we are graded for discussion. Every day. On the other hand, we have gotten used to it... somewhat. It still slightly (greatly) disturbs me when half the class has gone by and I have only managed to squeeze in a single, quote-less comment. This is when word vomit ensues. I may not even have anything legitimate to say, but I know deep down that I need to get those points and if that means sounding a little ridiculous, then it is a price worth paying.
Word vomit typically starts out awkwardly. Two people start speaking at the same time. Awkward pause. Who gets the points? Duke it out. Then I start talking already flustered by the confrontation earlier and things just go downhill from there. I know the words I'm saying are nonsense, complete word vomit, but I have to keep going. I can try and salvage it! Whip out the quotes! They normally do not help and occasionally only increase the feelings of inadequacy. Try and throw in a literary device, those are still good for points, right? It is time to wrap it up and the class is growing impatient. Their gaze keeps shifting to the clock, back at me, to Ms. Serensky, back to the clock. My last, vain attempt to finish with a profound statement only leads to further humiliation.
Despite the unpleasantness associated with English discussions, I have to grudgingly admit that they have been beneficial. I find myself being more assertive in all my classes, not just English, and graded discussions definitely have a hand in that.
Mariel- I have to admit that I am terrible at English discussions. I am usually a pretty outspoken and loud person but in English class, for some reason I turn into a fairly shy, extremely awkward individual. I feel like everyone is just so competitive and someone will rip me apart or judge me for my comment. However, I have tried to become more comfortable and I feel like I am improving little by little each day.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I've actually heard a lot of people say is that they like listening to discussions, and not always having to try to find a place to cut in. Personally, I hate when I get so preoccupied with talking that I can't really listen to what any of my classmates say, and then I feel like what I say is definitely "word vomit." I wish that it was easier to chill in class and gain insight from the discussion, rather than trying not to embarrass yourself.
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