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| Meow! We're going away soon. |
- Bring in a box of kittens. Let the guests play with the kittens for 2 minutes, then take the box away.
- Invite people over under the impression of watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, but put in The Namesake instead.
- Say you're going to make some chocolate chip cookies, but use raisins instead.
- Announce midway through the party of your home's lice infestation.
- Turn the party into an intense poetry analysis session, including the works of WH Auden and Ted Hughes, of course.
- Pass out some Composition books -- it's Journal Time, formal paragraph style.
We believe so strongly in the depressing power of our product, we offer a 100% refund if your guests are not completely dissatisfied with Simultaneous Disappointment!
I literally laughed out loud reading this. If I were the maker of Simultaneous Disappointment, I would also include promising a live band and instead have a lone man in his forties playing guitar hero, and also promising to take guests to dinner and then dropping them off at the nearest McDonald's. Just ideas.
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ReplyDeleteSo funny, Mariel, I really liked your ideas. This miserable game is the next big hit, I just know it. Here's a great one for teachers to use: Announce there is a pop quiz, then quickly say just kidding. As the kids begin to feel joy again, tell them just kidding again, and pass out the pop quiz.
ReplyDeleteThis is very humorous. I would suggest that the refund does not actually apply to anyone. Therefore, if people demand a refund, they will be simultaneously disappointed. Another idea could be to make/ order a delicious cake and then "accidentally" drop it on the floor right when people are about to eat it. That may be going a bit far though. This would be extremely upsetting. By the way, Sarah, I like the live band idea!
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ReplyDeleteThis is so clever, Mariel! Some of my own ideas; tell the kids you are babysitting that you are pouring them a glass of grape juice when you are really pouring them prune juice, or promise to read Harry Potter out loud to them and instead read the definition of every letter that begins with “X” in the dictionary. One more idea; go to a family reunion and spend an hour trying to get group shots that look adequate, but then develop the pictures to reveal that you had put your finger in front of the lens the whole time. Simultaneous Disappointment.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh at first, but then feel a bit concerned that my life resembled one giant game of simultaneous disappointment. Some examples that come to mind:
ReplyDelete- When my mom says we're having Chipotle for dinner, only to find out its her "homemade" version.
- In the summer when we hear the ice cream truck (it NEVER comes on our street), run out, then realize we're just overhearing it from the neighborhood next to us.
- Whenever we get take out, bring the food home, and realize every order is wrong (this happens a lot because we always have huge orders)
- Opening big presents on Christmas day, only to realize my mom thought it would be funny to give everyone soap, sending the message "please bathe more" (Christmas 2007)
Maybe if I inflict some of this disappointment on others I can feel less myself. Thanks for the tips!
I ♥ you.
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